Wives and Submission

I mentioned in May that I was putting my study of Pink's The Attributes of God on hold for the time being while I study biblical womanhood, and the roles between husbands and wives. The timing of the study has worked out well because Christa threw out a challenge to us here not to waste our summer. I committed myself here to becoming more faithful in my calling as a wife and mother.

This morning I was studying several passage but this one stood out to me:

Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Ephesians 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Ephesians 5:26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

Ephesians 5:27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Ephesians 5:28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

Ephesians 5:30 because we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

Ephesians 5:32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. (NASB - the above verses were quoted from the ESV).

Out of this passage, there were three verses that popped out at me. The first one was this verse:

Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

This is a verse I hear quoted most often when discussing the issue of submission. Many fail to read further on where it explicity states wives are to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

It goes on to state the reason why:

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

The verses following verse 21 show us what each person's role is within the family. Just as in the workplace there cannot be two heads, there cannot be two heads in a household either. There must be a leader. And God has placed our husbands in that leadership position, while we as wives are to follow in submission. This is not always an easy thing to do, and I have certainly not gotten this down pat, but it is the BIBLICAL way. I find that when I trust the Lord, and rest in my husband's decisions, or when he tells me not to worry about something, I have so much more peace. I tend to worry about silly little things like if we are going to make it somewhere on time, or if we have enough time to do this or that. When I submit to his advice, there is such peace inside, and I can relax.

Another comment brought up is the issue of physical abuse. If there is PHYSICAL abuse occurring, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND FIND A SAFE PLACE TO LIVE.

These roles have their root in creation: 1 Corinthians 11:3-16, Ephesians 5:21-33, and 1st Timothy 2:11-14.

The other statement that is always made is "I'll submit to him when he starts loving me as Christ loved the Church." Well, that isn't what this verse says, nor will you find that anywhere else in Scripture.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

We are to respect our husbands, and submit to them whether they are fulfilling their role or not. We are to individually fulfill our calling, our role as stated above, there are no loopholes, nor outs. Each one of us is to fulfill our roles regardless of what the other person does or does not do.

Lisa recommended a book to me called Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and I second that recommendation. It can be read free online here.

Our calling is not an easy one, but I think it is an easier one than the role God gave our husbands. For those of us in a two parent household, we don't have the burden of having to lead our families, or of having to provide for them.

I pray that we will embrace this high calling as wives, and mothers.