This has been a long, difficult eight months, and they aren't over yet. Through it all I have to say that God has been faithful. Psalm 16 has been a lifeline for me:
2 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”
3 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight. [2]
4 The sorrows of those who run after [3] another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
5 The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
7 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me. [4]
8 I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being [5] rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption. [6]
11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Because it's been such a difficult time, I have been more in survival mode than anything else, trying to work through all of this. A good friend of mine from online told me about Nouthetic Counseling. And then she, and another person online, told me about the resource, Trusting God, by Jerry Bridges. That book was helpful to me, as were some other things. What I have discovered is that truly, God is enough. There are so many Scriptures with promises to cling to. It's possible that the worst possible thing I can imagine will happen, but I know that my God is in control, and that He can be trusted. He can thwart any plans or attacks from the enemy. If He does not thwart them, He is still sovereign, and knows much better than I what is needed at this time. He knows all and sees all. My life, and my daughters lives are in His hands.
I will try to write more frequently because I do love writing. I lost that desire for many years. In fact, a few days ago I wrote a poem, and it has been at least 19 years since I have done that.
I will end tonight with this:
Psalm 73:23-28 (ESV)
23 Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength [2] of my heart and my portion forever.
27 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
28 But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works.
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